I appreciate the game masters who can run ornate online games. With maps all ready, and character tokens, and even images to go with prominent non-player characters.

I’ve gotten to play in a few such games now, since the beginning of the pandemic, and I can really enjoy that kind of game.

Yes, I can enjoy it. But man, I couldn’t run that way.

There was a time when I probably could have. When I was younger, I didn’t mind doing that much pregame prep. I’d draw pages and pages of dungeons, and stock them with appropriate creatures. Stat up a bunch of planets for my Star Wars game in case I needed them, whether I ever actually would or not.

I’d design castles my players might visit. Build monsters and other enemies, so I had a good amount of stock available. Just in case.

Then I gave up my efforts at not being a writer* and admitted that I really needed to be telling stories on a regular basis. And I came to realize something.

I’m happier, I have more fun, and I tell better stories, when I work without a net.

No outline. No prep work. None of that nonsense. Better to just sit down and start writing. What some would call “pantsing” – as in writing by the seat of your pants – but I prefer the term I first heard from Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch: writing into the dark.

When I came to understand that about myself, that this was how I was at my best, creatively, I abandoned most, if not all, of my pre-game prep as a game master.

Honestly, I should have seen that coming years ago. Decades, really. I’ve never been afraid to improvise as a game master, and came up with some good twists that way. How much could it really surprise me that I write the same way?

Game mastering into the dark. I like it.

That’s why I say I couldn’t run one of those elaborate online games. I mean, I could probably put all that stuff together, but honestly, I shouldn’t try. I’d hate it. And likely resent it. And I can’t imagine my players would want me in that kind of mood when it’s time to play.

No, I rather imagine they’d prefer to see me smiling and happy before the game starts. I mean, as long as I’m not giving them a proper Evil GM Smile ™ but that’s a different issue. I mean, if I’m giving one of those smiles, then sure, I’m still having fun all right.

Just maybe the kind of fun that may hurt the player characters a little. Or at least give their goals a bit of a … setback. Just comes with the territory.

Because of this, though, I have yet to try running an online game. I’m not willing to put in prep work that feels like drudgery, but most players will be disappointed if I don’t. And I don’t really blame them.

No, if it happens, if I run an online game, it’ll be because the players have agreed and understood in advance that they’ll have to rely on what the kids are calling “theater of the mind.”

It’s just how I roll.

*Long story. Tell you another time.