Why I Write
The college notebook in question
“Why I Write” was originally written for the 2014 Whidbey Island Writers Conference, where I will be one of the presenters. They posted it here. If you’re curious about the conference, you can read about it here.
I tried not to write. It didn’t work out.
For the first part, I could blame Harlan Ellison. I was in college at the time, and starting to write down some of the stories coming into my head. I even bought my first book or two about writing science fiction and fantasy.
But then I ran across some advice from Harlan Ellison. If I might paraphrase, he said, “Don’t write unless you cannot do anything else. It’s an incredibly tough way to make a living.”
I took that advice seriously. After all, Ellison was the long-term professional and I not yet even a true novice. So I tried to do anything else.
I spent more than a decade trying not to write. Living in Silicon Valley I worked in tech. Funny thing, though. No matter what my job title was supposed to be, I ended up writing or editing. But for a long time I didn’t see the significance of that. I was too close to it. And besides, I was still telling stories. I ran roleplaying games.
A good life, but not quite good enough. Something was missing.
Then, one evening, I was reading a novel and listening to the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies album Soul Caddy. The song “Irish Whiskey” came on. It’s about the pain and frustration of a man who gave up on his dreams without ever really giving them a shot.
The song shocked me out of my book. I don’t even remember what I was reading. I just know I started sweating and crying. I would not, could not, become that man.
I started writing again the next day. For a long time I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn’t give up. I kept studying. I kept learning.
And I kept writing. I’ve never looked back.
I still have that college notebook, full of aborted beginnings. It’s both a lesson and an inspiration. Some of those characters will yet see print. It’s the least I can do for them. They’ve waited patiently to tell their stories for more than twenty years.
