The Unbearable Rudeness of Zombies
“The zombie apocalypse won’t break out when it’s convenient.” – Kristen Lamb last week at the NILA residency.*
Whether you blame Max Brooks or George Romero, many people these days have a contingency plan ready for the seemingly inevitable zombie apocalypse. The CDC is ready, and there maybe some scientific basis for it (seriousness not guaranteed). Which begs the question – when is the best time for the zombie apocalypse to hit?
For me, I would prefer to see the zombies strike while I’m at either DunDraCon or Pacificon. At those gaming conventions I get together with friends who could form a formidable emergency team: combatants, hunters, campers, cooks, even clothiers. Every one of us has something to contribute to our post-apocalypse survival. The only real problem I see is that I’d be some eight hundred miles from my cats, and who can count on a cat sitter to continue her duties while zombies stalk her brains?
On the other hand, our cat sitter is pretty dedicated. I wonder if she can handle a shotgun…
But that’s the best time – when would be the worst?
For me, I would hate to see it happen during a layover between flights. Alone, unarmed, and supplied with only the contents of my carry-on bag, I would be stuck in an indefensible position in a strange city.
I could just see it starting: I’m flying from Portland to … let’s say Miami … with a layover in Denver. I’m finishing a soda in the food court, when a flight from New York lands. That flight contains patient zero, who infected the whole passenger section, including the flight attendants. Only the pilots survive, tucked behind their post-9/11 safety door. The horde deplanes, drawn by instinct to the baggage carousels…
What do you think? When would be the best time for the zombie apocalypse? What about the worst?
*Yes, I graduated last August. I was there as a TA.